Back from the Brink

Back to writing and back to running.

My running career was over for three weeks.

Three long, agonizing weeks, waiting to see the doctor again to do some more tests and wait for the results to come back.

While a three week break is nothing new, this was. I was not medically cleared to run or much of anything else while my body (hopefully) recovered. Every other beak in running due to injury, I knew I was coming back, this time I was not so sure.

We were out doing some training in the field, more specifically a 48 hour field problem that was designed to test our mental and physical endurance. I was having a great time, my body just failed me about 36 hours in.

Sparing all the details, I was diagnosed in the ER with Exertional Rhabdomyolysis and ended up being in the hospital for two nights. I was then informed by the doctor that it would be three weeks of no physical exercise, and we would see where to go after that that. I was facing a possible end to something I thought would last a lifetime.

When you don’t have something, you realize how much you miss it. Running was no exception. For those three weeks, I had to live and plan like a big part of my life would be no more. No more making dust trails down abandon roads before sunrise. No more chasing the sunlight between the trees on a mountain trail. No more adrenaline rush of towing the starting line, no matter the race.

I think what weighed most on my mind was what would replace running. The solitude and solace that I enjoy so much from running is hard to find in another sport. Finding that headspace and focus someplace else would a journey all on its own.

I am glad that the rhabdomyolysis wasn’t an extreme case, and my body healed quickly. The first few runs were a little nerve racking, not knowing how my body would react during and after. But the happiest feeling was letting my mind wander as I let my heart take control once more.

It feels real good to be back to running and writing. Maybe I’ll find my spark again, maybe I’ll find a different spark. You never know, but I’m back to running in some form.

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